Letter Home #96: Shocked Disbelief

Dear People,

Last night I got a call from President Hawks, the man in charge of the 150 of us Missionaries here in Hong Kong. Here's how the call went;

Elder Salty: How do you say C-O-A-X?
*My phone rings*
Me: Oh crap, shut up right now!
Elder Salty: What happens?
Me: Hello, President Hawks, I am Elder O'Gara, how can I help you?
The Hawk: Hello, Elder O'Gara, are you on Facebook right now?
Me: No, Sir, I am not.
The Hawk: Good, because you haven't been authorized for that yet. Is someone back home doing Facebook for you?
Me: Actually, I recieved some additional revelation from the Lord instructing me to use Facebook for Missionary work.
The Hawk: Well, you might want to go back on that one (he chuckles).
Me: I asked my mother to friend my Recent Converts so I can keep track of them, so she's working it for me. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?
The Hawk: Nope, just stay focused and stay off Facebook. Good night.
Elder Salty: BWAHAHAHAHA! I think that when you answer the phone you will die!

So yeah, my mom is trying to get me killed. It's like whatever, it's not the first time. [I am innocent, I always make it clear that it is NOT Elder O'Gara but his mother on his account! In fact some of you have msg'd with me on JE's account over the last year and a half.]

ANYWAYS

It was an eventful as stink week. [no clue folks, this is how it came] Elder Wong got sick for 4 days, and the day before he was scheduled to visit the Hospital; his companion got transferred to the office to be Housing Coordinator. So you know who got to go with him to sit in the E.R. Fever Patient Zone for 4 hours. Fortunately, I passed out and caught some z's while Elder Wong told Elder Handsome the story line of the entire Kingdom Hearts Series up to when Elder Wong left. And then he was in the exam room for literally 3 minutes. Fortunately, he's a local, so the visit only cost $100 HK (thank you, socialized medicine and taxes). 

But yeah, we didn't do a lot this week; everything is still closed from New Year, including every single Mom&Pop Restaurant in my area. The only thing I hate more than McDonalds is the fact that they upped the prices 50% on everything. These first world problems are killing me; I gotta move to Mainland.

But really, I might.

Love,
Elder JE O'Gara